AIW -- Endlessly

As far back as he could remember, this was just… normal. Friendly faces, warmth and comfort, rising hope, all followed by the inevitable moment of crushing defeat; then the cycle would begin all over again. Despite meeting so many people in his life, he was alone for most of it. The system just didn't work, and it was harsh. If you they liked you, they kept you around, and if not... well, what was the point of it all? To allow yourself to be 'taken care of' for a few short weeks, maybe a month or two at most... Then you’re in a new school, a new “family”....


He wasn't sure when his caseworker had changed his mind. Maybe it was after the house fire, or after one of the kids went missing, but suddenly he was being transferred out of one system and into a new one. One with "stability". This way he could stay in the same school, be surrounded by the same caretakers, make real friends...to an extent.

Honestly, Ren hadn't even thought there were any orphanages left. 'Foster Care' seemed to be the next big thing, but he supposed it was more fitting. He wasn't waiting for a family member to find him, or for one of his parents to get their act together... He was all he had, so why hadn't he been left in an orphanage in the first place? Then again... this place was it's own black hole; privately owned and religious to the core. The teenagers had already given up hope of adoption and remained a cruel reminder that Ren was on a time limit, and the kids smaller and younger than him were bound to do far better. Strict religious rules, bullies, less freedom, and still no parents. It wasn't all terrible though.

"Ren!"

There was Nora. From his first day there Nora had been a beacon of light. He hadn’t liked her much at first because he was scared and depressed... He was a flame for the moths that were the other aggressive kids, and he was angry. She was always there though, cheeping away like a songbird... Standing up for him, talking for him. Without his realizing she had become a part of him without his approval but... He never turned her away. Their friendship didn’t fully click until Cardin turned his attention from Ren to Nora. Being grounded and doing extra chores had been worth the punch he got in.

"Nora...? What are you doing back? Shouldn't you be packing?"

"They only wanted one kid!" She was upset, clearly... but he didn't understand. "They wouldn't let me take you with me! I want to stay with Ren!"

They were a team... So much so that Nora had sabotaged her own meeting for potentials just to stay with him. And when he was twelve, he had decided to do the same.

He remembered the Sister trying to talk to him, ask why he had acted so differently...  "Ren, I've never seen you act like that before. You seemed so happy this morning.... Is something wrong?" When he wouldn't answer she went on about what a bright future he could have had.

He wanted that... He wanted to get out of here, go to school without the teasing, be able to go home and have his own room and his own parents and... But he wanted Nora too.

When another meeting happened, he was perfect... But he had a condition; they had to adopt Nora too. That hadn't been negotiable to a thirteen-year-old boy, so once again he got to keep Nora… and the orphanage.

The third time this happened, the family agreed. They had fostered and adopted many kids, and the two thought it would be good. But they wanted to have a trial first; they did have other kids after all. They thought a visit for the day would be nice, with one of the Sisters coming along...

"She's a little more wild..." When Ren heard that they planned to leave her behind he ran away, ran back to the orphanage, refused to leave that black hole, fought and demanded that he stay. And he got his wish.

Maybe this was just what life was. Through school he was able to work hard and get a meager job at a restaurant near the church. One of his favorite caretakers helped him get ready for the world, teaching him, and he in turn teaching Nora how to start building enough credit to be able to attempt to make it out in the world. He didn't make many friends in school, but Nora seemed to be blossoming among the other girls and tended to drag him around along side the small group. He used it as an opportunity to spoil Nora a little and prepare for their future. He didn't have much, but Nora had to wait a bit longer before the school would let her work permit go through.

As things seemed to be settling into a routine, he began looking for apartments whenever he got the chance, trying to find something his measly paycheck could afford. He turned eighteen first, and like a blip on a map he was ejected from the system. When the time came and he moved out, he was already struggling. There was not enough help, very little information, and there were still weeks of school; even worse still, eight months before Nora could leave... He got to see her in school and a little bit after, but legally she couldn't come to his ratty apartment - not that he really wanted her to see it. Ren had no idea he’d needed to set up the proper legal meetings to make things easier for himself. There was a lot he hadn't learned, actually; and staying afloat between finishing school, work, somehow paying rent, and keeping his ancient cell phone working just so he could have some form of communication was all stressful enough, let along trying to think about the future.

He made it to graduation, and it was bitter sweet really. Nora seemed to be doing good though, and was starting to look over community college, get her own act together. She was lucky; she could stay in the system the remainder of her seventeen year old life despite graduation. He decided to be happy for her.

"When you get out, our place will be ready." he promised. He could do better for her. Get a better apartment - one that didn't leak, he'd keep himself afloat for her... If he could do just that, then when she got out she wouldn't have to go through the stress he was facing now.

"It's not like I won’t ever see you again! I'm sooooo going to enjoy the month and a half before trying to get into classes; I still want a summer vacation - I'll see you around won’t I!?" Sure, they were allowed out for a certain amount of time over the summers... but it was still a tight leash.

"... Yeah, of course." he smiled, nodding.

It took some time. Once a week Nora would come to meet him; though he knew she was lying to do so. He didn't like it, and if anyone were to find out he knew she could find herself in a lot of trouble... Yet he found himself fighting to be worried. The ginger haired girl had gotten closer to him, practically breaking his way past his door and into his heart.

"But I don't want to go back.... Can't I just stay here?"

"I can't do better for you if you stay here." He frowned. Even though their 'dates', their... 'visits' were only days apart, he always missed her when he had to walk her back to the gates. After all, the raven haired had to make everything perfect.

Ren did try. He needed more hours though, needed to keep building credit, needed to fight with neighbors and the landlord and…. Everything was shut down very suddenly when he was caught "stealing food". He tried to fight it, tried to defend himself. His supervisor had said long ago that if you worked that day you could take leftovers home – but all of a sudden this became a crime!? It was a bit more than usual but... He could only do so much. Pay rent, pay bills, then grocery shop... a paycheck practically went to each one, of course he needed to eat....!

Whatever was left in his savings went to breaking his lease, paying off his credit card, and buying a little bit of food. There was nothing else he could do; he was flat broke.

He was doomed. His cell service was gone; the phone was hardly more than a flashlight, a watch, a camera, and a visual reminder that he would have to meet with Nora soon enough. Getting into a shelter at night was a mortifying experience but every morning he did every survival trick he knew to look good and not let her know. She was worried; he could see it on her face when he they were together.... He tried not to act hungry, tried not be exhausted; for her he was perfect, he was happy.... In two weeks she'd be starting college courses, and she was afraid she wouldn't be able to keep doing them once she moved in with him, she was afraid that he wasn't talking about the little ratty apartment or his job.... She knew, he could see it...

"I'm fine, I promise." Because Nora didn't need to hear it. She always knew him best.

".... Is there anything I can do to help?" She was lingering at the gate, the frown on her face and the concern in her eyes making his heart ache. Of course she had figured it out.

"... I'm going to make everything perfect for you." he promised. "When you get out, our place will be ready."